


Truly Madly Deeply

by Adillard



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 19:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20394970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adillard/pseuds/Adillard
Summary: This is a one shot inspired by the photo Carina posted on Insta. It follows 01x13





	Truly Madly Deeply

* * *

“You’re drunk,” Michael said to Alex, matter-of-factly but without judgement. He grabbed Alex’s arm to help him up from his seat at the bar, but Alex wrenched his arm away.

“Guess I took your role, tonight, Guerin,” Alex shot back. “I totally get it. It's nice saying 'fuck it' and letting go. Being the victim. Being the selfish asshole who gets sloppy and let's everyone else clean up his mess. It's nice not giving a shit about anyone else.”

Michael's jaw tightened.

“I just wish I could stop giving a shit about you,” Alex mumbled, and started to slip off the seat.

Michael shot forward to catch him, a hand wrapping around Alex’s waist to hold him up. “Then you really have taken my role tonight,” he grumbled.

The bartender shot Michael an irritated look. “He needs to cash out.”

Michael gave the guy a dirty look. “Then fucking grab the bill and he’ll cash out!”

He sat Alex back down on the seat and waited for the bartender. He could feel Alex looking at him. He didn’t want to look back, a little afraid of what he’d see in Alex’s eyes. Hate? Disappointment? Hurt?

“How did you do it, Michael? How did you stop loving me? Can you teach me how?”

When Michael looked at Alex, the hurt and sadness pouring from his eyes, the tears forming, he felt like his heart might stop. His face softened and he shook his head slightly. There was something about the way Alex said his name that cut deep to his soul.

“I think you’ve got that the other way around, soldier,” Michael said quietly.

The bartender brought him Alex’s card and a receipt. Michael signed it for him and tucked Alex’s card in his jeans, hoping he didn’t forget to give it back to Alex once he’d gotten him home. He hoisted Alex back up, looking around for a crutch. When he didn’t see it, he started outside.

“Why the fuck did you go on a bender at Saturn’s Rings? A bunch of fucking weirdos.” Michael struggled a little to talk as he was half-carrying Alex out to the parking lot. 2 people dressed in green nylon one-pieces, faces painted green, walked passed them to go into the bar.

“Maria told me…about you. Sorry? She’s sorry? For what?! How could she know? Except for when I told her?! Stupid dad tries to kill my stupid friend my stupid friend hooks up with my stupid...ex?”

Michael didn’t even try to decode Alex’s words. He knew what it was like to be wasted out of your mind. Your shit just did not make sense at that point. He got Alex settled in the truck, but before he closed the door, he realized Alex was going to puke. He leaned him forward so that his head was outside of the truck.

“There you go. You gonna throw up again? Or can you make it back to the trailer?” Michael asked, grabbing a rag from the back of the truck to wipe off Alex’s face. He grabbed Alex’s face and tilted it upwards so he could see him better.

“Why are you here?” Alex asked.

Michael took a deep breath. “Because you called me.”

And he had. Michael had just settled in for the night, ready to get completely shitfaced to forget about Max and Caulfield and everything from the last week, when his phone had rang. He answered it when he saw Alex’s name, worried because he never called.

“You’re a liar,” Alex had said from the other end of the phone. It was loud and Alex’s voice sounded off somehow. “You look away as soon as something pretty crosses your view.”

“Alex? Where are you?”

“Not at the Wild Pony!”

“Are you drunk?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Alex spat in response.

And then the line had gone dead and Michael had abandoned all plans of getting wasted in favor of finding Alex. Saturn’s Rings was his second stop, after driving by Project Shepherd to see if his car was there.

When Michael felt confident that Alex was done vomiting for the moment, he walked to the driver’s side and climbed into the truck, driving them back to the Airstream. He realized he wasn’t actually sure where Alex was living, so he didn’t know where else to take him.

When they pulled up to the trailer, Michael used his powers to open Alex’s door so he could lean out to throw up again. Michael got out and ran to Alex, making sure he didn’t get vomit all over himself. He sighed, irritated when he realized Alex had vomited on both of their boots.

“Let’s go, Manes,” he said, grabbing Alex out of the truck and into the trailer.

“You go, Guerin. Maria misses you,” Alex said sarcastically.

“Yeah? I wouldn’t know.”

Michael sat Alex down on the edge of the bed and started to remove his prosthetic. He tried to resituate Alex so that he was laying on the bed, but Alex snuck both hands around Michael’s neck and moved his fingers into Michael’s hair.

Michael’s breath faltered, but he swallowed hard and returned to the task at hand.

Alex didn’t give in, pulling Michael closer and resting his forehead against the side of Michael’s face, breathing in heavily. Michael smelled the sick on Alex’s breath, but he could also smell that indistinguishable _Alex_ smell that was so fucking good. Michael closed his eyes for a moment and stilled. No sounds but both of them breathing.

“Michael,” Alex whispered, and a shot of arousal went through Michael’s body, his heart clenching.

Michael put his hands on Alex’s forearms to pull his hands out of Michael’s hair. He put Alex’s hands down and started to stand up, surprised with himself that he had this much self control.

Alex looked at Michael, his face hurt and betrayed. “Right. Sorry, I forgot you didn’t want me anymore,” he said, sounding angry and almost sober.

Michael shook his head, desperate for Alex to understand. “Yes I do. Just..not like this, Alex.”

A tear fell from Alex’s eye, but he turned onto his side and curled up, pulling the blanket around himself.

“Fuck!” Michael whispered to himself. And then he grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down, watching Alex in case he would need to throw up again. This man would be the death of him. But then again, there were worse things to die for.

  
Michael woke up to Alex’s groan. He opened his eyes and lifted his head up, seeing Alex begin to sit up in the bed. Michael couldn’t remember falling asleep, but it was definitely uncomfortable sleeping in a chair, not that it was the first time. Alex rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair. He looked around himself, slowly, taking stock of where he was. He looked up, meeting Michael’s gaze, not looking as surprised as Michael would have assumed.

“Did we…?” Alex asked, his voice rough.

Michael shook his head, no. Alex nodded and then shook his head, embarrassed. “Of course not. Maria…” Alex’s face flushed and he started to move to the edge of the bed to stand up.

“No,” Michael said firmly, causing Alex to look up at him again. “No, that wasn’t it.”

Alex stayed still, eyes locked with Michael’s, searching for answers. He was pissed at himself for getting so drunk that he couldn’t remember what happened last night. He had no idea what he had done or said, which was mortifying, but honestly he could take a good guess at the things he’d probably said and they probably all needed to be said, anyways. He blinked, realizing how strongly Michael could make him feel when he looked at him like that, with such intensity. Alex looked away and then started to put his sock and prosthetic on. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, so he tried to focus hard on what he was doing. But he could still feel Michael watching him.

“Alex,” Michael started, wanting to explain but not really even sure where to start.

“No,” Alex stopped him. “Not right now, Guerin. I need to pee. My head feels like it’s going to explode. And I have to report on base tomorrow. Where’s my car?”

Michael frowned and shook his head. “Saturn’s Rings. I’ll take you over there.”

Alex nodded, standing up cautiously and wobbling out the door. As they pulled out of Sander’s, Alex motioned for Michael to pull over. He jumped out of the truck and doubled over, hands on his knees as he threw up. He wiped his face on his sleeve and spit out at the desert. He climbed back into the truck and rested his head back.

“One hell of a bender, Manes,” Michael said, a little bit of humor and a little bit of worry in his tone.

“Took a page from your book, apparently,” Alex responded without opening his eyes.

“Yeah, you said that last night, too.”

The rest of the drive was uneventful. When they got to Saturn’s Rings, there were people outside, hanging Christmas Lights. Michael held in a groan, remembering it was Thanksgiving on Thursday.

Alex got out of the truck, but hesitated before closing the door. “Thank you.”

Michael nodded and watched Alex close the door and walk to his SUV. He swallowed, wishing he could stop his heart from aching, that he could forget about Alex Manes. But then he turned the truck around and went to Isobel’s. There was a lot for them to figure out.

Thanksgiving went as to be expected for Michael. Alone, as usual, only this year he didn't want to go to the Wild Pony. It was too awkward with Maria. After he bailed to go to Max that night, Maria had come by the trailer to explain that she couldn't keep hurting Alex. That Alex had loved Michael since they were kids and the small feelings she had for him weren't worth doing that much damage to her friend. Michael didn't fight it. She was right.

Isobel came by with leftovers from the Thanksgiving at her parents’ house. She stayed for a drink and then they went out to the pod where they had put Max's body. Isobel wanted to talk about Liz and Rosa, but Michael just didn't feel like hearing about it all, so he’d gone back to the trailer in favor of getting wasted and passing out on his bed fully clothed.

He woke up the next morning to a phone call from Isobel, but he didn't need to answer it to know she was calling about Max. He was alive. Michael could feel it. He answered the phone as he got up and stumbled out to his truck.

“Come to my house,” she directed and Michael headed that way.

Michael cried when he saw Max, sitting on his sofa with Isobel propped on the armrest. He ran to Max, who stood up to hug Michael. Michael held on a little longer than usual.

“Jesus, Max, what the fuck?”

“Michael, stop, I’m okay,” Max insisted, patting Michael on the shoulder.

“How are you alive?”

“I don't know,” Max shook his head. “I just woke up and climbed out of the pod. Thank God Iz was there, she brought me home.”

They sat there together, the three of them. Isobel cried and Max asked questions about how long he’d been gone and what he'd missed. There wasn't much to fill him in on, as he had only been gone a week. But it was nice to be there together.

“Max!” Liz yelled, running into the house and throwing herself at Max, who caught her easily. Isobel and Michael walked to the kitchen to give them a moment.

“What were you doing there so early?” Michael asked her.

“Today is Noah's funeral. I just went there to see him. I was telling him how much I do not want to deal with Mom by myself today, and he just started climbing out.” She was crying, so Michael pulled her in and held her. They heard the door open, so they walked back into the living room. Kyle Valenti and Alex stood there, Alex in his uniform, both looking dumbfounded.

  
“I need to get some air,” Michael mumbled to Isobel. He slipped out the door and went out to his truck. He pulled the latch and sat down on the edge of the truck bed. He heard footsteps and turned to see Alex walking towards him. He shook his head and faced forward again, looking down at the ground.

Alex came around and stood so that he was facing Michael, but stayed several feet away. Michael looked up to meet Alex's gaze. Alex put his hands in his pockets and looked away for a moment before looking back at Michael and taking a deep breath.

“I'm sorry about the other night,” Alex started.

“Don't be.”

Alex swallowed. “I'm came straight here when I heard about Max. I hoped you would be here.”

“What can I say? I love making your dreams come true, Captain Manes,” Michael said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

“I…I don't really know where we go from here, Guerin.”

There was pain in Alex's eyes. And desperation.

Michael shrugged. “Wherever you want to go, Alex.”

Alex shook his head, getting frustrated. “Bullshit. I know you went to see Maria that night-“

“Yeah, I screwed up! Okay, but we weren't together, Alex!” Michael knew he was shouting, but he couldn’t help it. He had stood up and started walking towards Alex. Alex stood his ground, but took his hands out of his pockets. He had tears in his eyes, his face twisted in anger and sadness.

“It doesn't matter at the end of the day, because I…” Michael blinked a few times and took a deep breath, walking even closer to Alex. “I love you, Alex.”

Alex finished closing the distance between them, grabbing Michael’s neck and pushing his fingers into Michael’s hair. He kissed him with everything he had. He felt Michael’s hands grab at his back, pulling him in closer. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together and Alex kept his hands in Michael’s hair. “I love you, too.”

The irony of the fact that Alex was in his uniform the first time he said this to Michael was not lost on him. He meant what he had said to Michael that night in the Airstream- he was done fighting his father’s battles. He was ready to win battles of his own.

“Why did you go to Maria? That night? I had come to your trailer to apologize. To finally be with you for real. But you left. And you went to her-“

“Because I’m an idiot, Alex. You broke up with me and you didn’t talk to me for months. When you came by the trailer last week and told me you were ready to start over and be friends…I…I guess after Caulfield I just thought being with Maria would mean trying to move past loving you. But I was wrong, Alex. I can’t move past it. We are.. we’re-“

“Cosmic,” Alex finished, using Michael’s words from that same day.

Michael met Alex’s gaze, his eyes communicating a thousand words. “Cosmic.”

Alex nodded, doing his best to accept that answer for now. But Michael knew he had a lot to make for and a lot of trust to rebuild. This time, though, he was ready.


End file.
